Summer Cruel

by Matracia

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1.
01:40
I never felt so lonely as when I wake up next to you
2.
05:09
I don’t know if I will ever show What my heart wants deep down below Its true that I am afraid of love I’ll draw you close just to speak in tongues His body heat felt sweltering Or so I dreamed in my wet defeat Will I be stuck in my own damn mind? I’ll draw first blood just to run and hide Hey summer cruel I wish that I could start anew The sun will rise on the darkest day Light floods my room through the window pane Pull the shutter tight or open the door I don’t wanna be in this house no more Hey summer cruel I wish that I could start anew
3.
03:14
Sometimes I tell myself that I hate myself And I go through it in my head I go down right on through it Yeah I often drink into excess I get scared ‘bout sober sex I go through it in my head shut down and abuse it Yeah Woah Wake up with pain in my head wake up in another’s bed Clothes strewn across the floor he asks watcha in for? Yeah Some things better left unsaid morning brings a bitter end When the spirit flows through you and then you have to come to Yeah Woah And it all feels the same To drink and shift the blame What difference does it make When you’re numb at the end of the day?
4.
02:33
you are searching for your jock in my bedroom where we got lost pay attention to my face when we go to our secret place i am wavering that dotted line i could cum now or give you time do you feel it when we're alone? maybe baby we should take it slow take it slow
5.
03:08
forest fire starting in your back yard  ash and smoke you hold it close in your arms  i don’t have to warn ya it’ll be here soon  i don't wanna be there when you come to  take another swig of your pbr  pull a chair up too and light a cigar  even water knows not to fuck with you  i don’t wanna be there when you come to  drunk and rolling  why don’t you go and take another picture  hearts a foldin’  I can’t tell if I am with ya  time is stolen  I can’t hear a word you say  I was hoping, today  I don’t wanna be there when you come to
6.
04:26
I am floating on my back inside your cup of tea  you don’t know about the monster you made inside of me  he appears inside the mirrors littered in my mind  i begin to see his skin slither over mine  i roll over as the boulder hidden in your shoe  indisposed the pain is slow but cuts clean through  filled with blood you have become the anchor and the ship  on your knees you beg me please to the cracking of the whip  but i don’t wanna lose another friend  but i don’t wanna go to hell and back again  but I don’t wanna lose another friend  but I know I am not heaven sent  I am waiting in the shadows cast by your red truck  life ain’t fair we both declare but it is not enough  these scars are deep lets wait and see if one day they will shine  i begin to peel the skin crusted over mine  but i don’t wanna lose another friend  but i don’t wanna go to hell and back again  but I don’t wanna lose another friend  but I know I am not heaven sent

credits

released May 3, 2019

written & performed by dylan matracia
produced & engineered by dan foley
mastered by joey fernandez
recorded at big honker studios (bushwick, brooklyn)

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about

Matracia Brooklyn, New York

Matracia is the project of Brooklyn-based songwriter Dylan Matracia. Combining a modern electronic sound with a folk-music background, his work was born during the early stages of Matracia’s journey to sobriety as an intimate look at the struggles of addiction and anxiety as a queer person. ... more

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